A new marriage proposal!

Yes, you read that correctly. I’m proposing a new marriage.

Between excellence and grace.

Both are thoroughly Biblical – when they’re married to each other.

But divorced from one another? The phrase “spawn of Satan” comes to mind.

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Quick aside – The Both/And Life Video channel is merely on pause. We’ll get back to it, and this might become one. Some other priorities have jumped the line for where I put my time right now, but if you love to be in front of a camera… and if you’re excellent at it!... let me know. You’re hired! The wages are literally out of this world.

Back to the marriage proposal

Did you know that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16)? And not just between a man and a woman. Divorcing excellence and grace is why we can struggle so much with that verse from Malachi, which refers to a man and a woman in marriage. God desires excellence in marriage – to the point that He calls it a picture of the relationship between Jesus and the Church. A high standard for marriage, yet divorced from grace, leads to the mistaken understanding that God hates divorcees. Refer back to the “spawn of Satan” comment for the origin of that lie. 

God only hates divorce because God loves people, and divorce hurts people – lots of people. Having grace regarding marriage – but divorced from excellence – can cause us to treat the end of a marriage casually. Which probably means we minimize the pain it causes, whether the divorce was our own or others. And it might also mean that one or both marriage partners didn’t invest enough in the marriage on the front end or all the way through. 

Biblical excellence

King David wanted to build an altar to sacrifice to the Lord and plead for mercy since His own sin of pride was literally killing people (see 2 Samuel 24.) The person who owned the land wanted to give it to David for free. David wisely said, “I cannot offer the Lord a sacrifice that cost me nothing.” The King of Kings deserves our best. 

In any profession, if we had a task to perform for someone with far more authority than we had, someone whom we admired and respected, it would be unthinkable to do that task half-heartedly, to forget about it altogether, or to have a “whatever” attitude. How much more for Jesus! Whether it’s our prayer life, what we’re learning, or how we’re putting it into action (John 17 Weekend alumni – see the tripod?!), we have some needed growth if we’re just slapping together leftovers for our Lord and Savior. 

Biblical grace

Just this morning I was reflecting on this… who in the Bible had the biggest, most impactful callings? The “heroes and heroines” from the Hebrews 11 Hall of Faith? The ones we know the most about, almost without exception, had messed up so badly that we would have expected them to be disqualified (or worse, executed). Right? Moses, David, Jacob, Peter, Paul… God invited them solely based on grace. Their high-consequence failures humbled them sufficiently that they were broken and wholly dependent on God. That’s all He’s looking for! 

If God were interviewing us for a significant position in the Kingdom (redundant – all Kingdom positions are significant), the interview might consist of one question: “Tell me about your failures.” Jesus said, “Those who have been forgiven much… love much.” 

Marrying grace and excellence...

…is about as challenging as marrying your spouse. When we see somebody else’s work as appearing to be so far from excellent that it makes us shudder, it’s so easy to be critical. If we’re a high-standard, give-it-your-best-for-the-King person, it’s hard not to assume, “Why didn’t they prepare?” “ Who put them in that position?” And while both of those could be the reason, it could also be that they took a call from a family member in crisis right before it was their turn, and they chose to be responsible enough to carry through with their assignment even while knowing their performance would be far from their best.

And when we get A’s in grace but D’s in excellence, we can keep making the same mistakes indefinitely. We don’t grow and mature, nor do we help others grow and mature. Grace gets cheapened until it fails to be worth that much. 

Go for the gold!

We name anniversaries with titles like “silver” and “gold.” Let’s commit to investing in our grace/excellence marriage to that level also!

For King Jesus,

Dave Drum, Founder J17 Ministries